Melancholy

My mood today definitely matches the weather, it’s gloomy and rainy and sad. My friend Peabody left today to return to the Salt City and I am very sad. I had such a great time with him here. When you’re in SLC it’s so hard to spend quality time with friends because there are so many people to see and no matter where you go with Peabody you will inevitably be interrupted by somebody who either knows him, thinks they know him or just wants to comment on his show. It’s impossible to have a meal without interruption. But here in Chicago, anonymity is wonderful! I took Peabody to a couple of different places, we had dinner, we had drinks and we had BLUES!

Yes, I will definitely miss having Peabody here!

Bring on the next friend.

Visitation Rights

So my friend Peabody is here to visit and I am so happy about it. We had dinner at a restaurant that everybody has raved about and it did not disappoint; kitschy, quaint and extraordinarily good food! Talking to Peabody was like never having left the salt city. Gossip was the order of the day and this did not disappoint either.

I had already decided that every one of my friends must visit, but now I am making it mandatory. After being grilled on places to go and things to do I discovered that I actually do know this town. I was beginning to doubt myself, alas, as I learn more of the city I can now detail trips to coincide with likes and dislikes. It doesn’t matter what you like; food, shopping, nightlife, jazz or blues…I know where to take you.

Take heed, my friends, I am now your official guide to the Windy City!

Drunk and Disorderly

Note to the “boys” out there.

Please do us ladies a huge favor, don’t get slobbering drunk, ask for our phone number and then proceed to hit on our friend (who is sitting right next to us) when we tell you no.

Yep, that’s right I’m talking to you Mr. Drunk Firefighter.

Million Dollar Question

Is there an Olympic event for running in 4-inch high heels? If so, I'm pretty sure I would win gold after this morning's dash to the bus. I managed to catch the bus and not break an ankle...I think it's going to be a lovely day!

Overheard

Overheard at a bar last night:

Girl: “What would you do if you got stuck on a toilet seat?”
Guy: “For how long?”
Girl: “Why does it matter?”
Guy: “Because I want to know how many times I can masturbate before my roommate gets home.”

Ah, to be twenty-something again and have roommates...NOT!

Economic Stimulus

I found the best use for my $600 economic stimulus check, $300 to the airline industry and $300 to the shoe industry. I figured that in my new world this was an even split between two must haves; half to go to SLC and see the family and friends and half to my feet looking absolutely stunning in four different pairs of uber-sexy heels. I won’t go into detail about the airline ticket, because let’s just face it, airline tickets are NOT sexy. I will however go to great lengths to describe the heels!

1) 4-inch, matte black Nine West heels. Delicately pointed toe with an instep cutout. The four inches really made the heel in this situation. Worn with jeans or a business suit and even this fabulous black dress which I have yet to wear.





2) 3-inch beige and black peep-toe heels. Rounded toe with black around the ankle. Nothing says sexy like peep-toe heels. Very practical considering the sheer amount of neutrals in my closet, currently being worn with a beige suit and black sweater.



3) 3-inch white and beige peep-toe heels. Mostly beige with delicate white detailing around the base and toes, also with a strap around the back of the heel. These are also very practical because I can walk the one mile to work and one mile home from work and not be begging for mercy when I finally make it home. They also go with a fair amount of the summer suits and work attire yet to be brought forth out of the closet.


4) Red, 4-inch spike heels. Need I say more?


Now my only problem is I need another stimulus check to buy new clothes to go with the new shoes.

Baggage Detectors

In the past 24 hours I have had the same conversation with two different men in two different states; the conversation being how women are crazy. Now being a woman myself, and having many women friends I can attest that in my experience ALL women are at least a little bit crazy. Some have high percentages like eighty-five and ninety percent, but others are low around ten or fifteen percent crazy. I would classify myself on the low end around seventeen percent crazy, and most people I know would consider me pretty level-headed and even tempered, thereby solidifying my assertion that I am on the low end of the scale.

We’ll start with last night’s conversation with Pete. Pete manages a bar on the Northside and is an attractive guy, young thirties, great body and a very easy going personality. We were having drinks on the patio of the bar he manages, and in between checking on other patrons; Pete would stop by my table for chats. I confess to have had a little bit of a crush when I first met Pete, but the crush has turned into a genuine friendship, which given the nature of the conversation at hand, is a very good thing.

So, Pete tells me he has been getting texts and voice messages from a couple of ex girlfriends, nothing new there. Then he tells me about these girls and by his description I would call these girls absolutely one-hundred percent, certifiably crazy! There was stalking behavior, childish antics, public rants, a hit and run, a slap fight with another woman and a host of emotional baggage she's carrying around. And then Pete does the unthinkable, he said he’s attracted to this behavior. He wouldn’t even consider a drama free relationship. Relationships for him, need high drama and jealousy to have meaning! Are you kidding me!?!

Then this morning I talk to my friend Foxy in SLC, early forties, great body and also good-looking. Considering all the drama this boy has gone through, mostly self created, I know he attracts crazy women, the latest one being his wife who I believe is no longer his wife (will def. have to get the scoop on this). Believe me there was lots of drama there. So, he tells me he has no developed a baggage detector and I say good for him! Having this new found ability will absolutely help you in the future with weeding out the drama chicks.

In my opinion, there are two paths here, the first one being, if you’re going to date crazy at least own up to it. Otherwise your friends think you’re idiot and might need to seek psychiatric help; honesty is the best policy in this situation. The other path is finding and installing a baggage detector, I’m sure after market specials are out there somewhere. However, I’m hoping one day, baggage detectors come standard with a penis.