Friday, March 6, 2009

Big Weekend

I am resolved that along with all my other chores planned for tomorrow to do the big birthday celebration, my cat getting a bath is very high on that list.
So far my list goes like this –
1. get up (most important obviously)
2. make coffee (this could actually be #1, but seeing as I have to complete #1 first, it has to be #2. Of course I could do the whole #1a and #1b, but I prefer simplicity)
3. BATH THE CAT! This of course should take up a good portion of my day, seeing a how he hates bath, but he really needs one.
After #3, I have drop off dry-cleaning and finish the laundry. Then I need to fit in a nap somewhere, because I have a long night ahead on Saturday. My girls are taking me out for dinner and then we'll meet up with the rest of the crew for a very late night. I'm hoping to remember to take pictures at some point!

I promise if we do take pictures I'll share.


Thursday, March 5, 2009

A Barbie I Can Admire

Seriously, the NASCAR Barbie I just can't understand, but come on a tattooed Barbie is just plain awesome!

I think mothers could use this as a tool for predicting the future escapades of their daughters. If the tattoos are to be placed on the Barbie by the little girls or boys who play with them, then the mothers could predict where their teenage daughters/sons might fall on the "purity" scale.

For instance, if little Janie (we'll call our little heroine Janie) places, say a butterfly, on Barbie's shoulder or ankle, then said mother really has nothing to worry about when her little girls grows up. She'll continue to be pure and chaste and remain a good little girl.

However, if little Janie starts placing tramp stamps, full sleeves and navel tattoos on her Barbie...said mother needs to start googling the nearest convents!

Monday, March 2, 2009

5 Things One Should Never Do....

If you're so stupidly drunk that you cannot even write your name.
1) Drive - Obviously!
2) Go to Work - this of course will get your ass fired, trust me on this one. (note - no I've never been fired for showing up to work drunk...just trust me)
3) Operate heavy machinery - yes this goes right along with driving, but there are times when you're so drunk that your house keys are so heavy you can't seem to keep hold of them. I include in this category almost anything that plugs in to an outlet or requires batteries...almost anything ;)
4) Go swimming - Really, I mean come on, this is pretty self explanatory, if you cannot walk a straight line, how in hell do you think you are going to keep you head above water in a pool/lake/river? I'm leaving out hot tubs, because I'm always game for hot tubs, just remember if you've had too much to drink, your hangover will feel worse in the morning, guaranteed!and you might think I'd say - drunk dialing an ex, but I won't, because there have been some very interesting interludes in my past with exes that involved a drunk dial, and well they make great stories.
5) Try to help the hysterical girl in the bathroom - She is obviously having some sort of emotional crisis, usually involving a guy. In fact if there is a girl crying hysterically in the bathroom of a club/bar IT ALWAYS INVOLVES A GUY! Trust me on this one...stay as far away as you can get, because you can only make the situation worse! TRUST ME!