Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Has anybody seen this:

My only question is - with all the mutations happening around the world, mostly in third world countries, when are we going to finally develop mutations like the X-Men? I'm really looking forward to changing weather patterns like Storm, because it's way too cold for my tastes right now.

Cheers and Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 24, 2008


Sorry guys, I have been busy in the real world and I have completely neglected to inform you all of my recent misdeeds! Most likely because there haven't been any!

Since it's turned cold, very cold here in the Windy City I've taken to hibernating and working on Santa Crawl costumes. I've taken on eight costumes this year and I'm now down to 10 days to finish them, which is plenty of time because I actually have friends who sew helping out this year. However, it means I have red velvet, green velvet and bits of white fur all over my house! The best part about the Santa cleaning my house afterward.

This Thanksgiving week, and I have now been craving turkey for over a week...I'm definitely looking forward to turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, rolls, pumpkin cheesecake and as much alcohol allowed by law. Oh and two days off this week!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A Weekend of Fools Revisited

This past weekend I sort of felt like I was living in the Christmas Story, being visited by idiots and fools from the past, present and hopefully NOT future.

PAST - Does anybody remember this guy? After a much talked about a weekend of celebrating, Sunday was supposed to be a slight recovery day, what it ended up being was a rowdy day at McGee's watching football, drinking way too many ____bombs (you fill in the blank; O, Cherry, Grape, Car, Jager) so I was high on Red Bull, dancing around (basically hopping) to burn off all the caffeine and then running into the douche bag from summer. You remember, the guy who met me and then proceeded to call me 9 times between the hours of 2 and 3 AM! I was on my way outside to grab a nicci fit and he followed me, asked if he could bum a cig and when I said I had only one he said, "That's OK, I'll just share yours." Umm, excuse me, we met briefly four months ago, you called me 9 times in a most unpleasant manner, never called back (thankfully) and then you assume I'm going to let you share my last cig? (I ask you Internet - do I look like "Fool" is it tattooed on my head in ink that everybody else can read but me?) So I said no to the last cig and sharing (ewwwww!) and he proceeds to hang around and ask if I remember him. Which I reply, "Yes, but I was just about to the point of forgetting you, so gee, thanks a lot for being here to remind me!"

PRESENT - Saturday was Jen-9's bday party and it was a smash success, however I was inundated with drunken of which was actually me! There are two guys here in Chi that have made a point of trying to "connect" with me. When I say "connect" I do mean in the puzzle piece sort of way if you get my meaning, but I'm just not into either one of them. One has a history of getting drunk way too often, then texting inappropriate messages to not only yours truly, but to a couple other ladies I know, the other one I'm just not into. So anyway, I still see them all the time, but Saturday was especially interesting. Both of them made a point of breaking into my conversations, requesting permission from friends to ask if they could have a moment with me, and both of them basically trying to get me to go home with them. I'll combine both conversations into one for you - "Wow, Doni I think you're awesome, let's go fuck!" Yeah, that's about it!

FUTURE - OK, on the crush front, there is nothing new to report here...unfortunately.

Friday, November 14, 2008

When Compliments are NOT!

Last night I met my friend Jill for drinks and appetizers at Tilli's. It's a great little place on Halsted and it has a cozy feel even though the whole place is quite large. There is a rectangular bar right up front, with three cute bartenders caged like rowdy dogs ready to lick you to death if you'd just let them out of the cage. They're cute, friendly, sassy and apparently speak a multitude of languages with the customers, one being drunken slurring I'm sure.

So I arrived a few minute before Jill and took a seat at the bar on the corner, near the door, but also near a table of three attractive guys, figuring that proximity wins! There was definitely a higher guy to girl ratio in the place, so I figured my odds were good that I would at least have some interesting conversation with someone of the opposite sex before Jill arrived. (Remember I'm trying to find a crush close to home here) Jill arrived and we proceeded to have drinks and appetizers over the next three hours and not one of the guys even bothered to say anything to us. Which is actually quite surprising in Chicago, because usually you can't get through one drink without somebody either saying hi, bumping into you, (guyspeak for, "Hey you're kinda cute!") or offering to buy you a drink.

Jill and I were finishing our last drink, the Jets were finishing off the Patriots and then she gives me the "look", you know the one that says, "OMG, don't look now, but there is something heading our way!" and not in the good way. Sure enough, up comes drunk guy with red wine stained teeth and the most horrible laugh you've ever heard. He's sloshing his red wine everywhere, bumping into both of us and trying to get us to talk to his table of guys into not leaving and going someplace else. He proceeds to ask us annoying questions and we made some comment about the game, to which he replies, "You're Patriots fans? What are you bitch-ass-hos!" My immediate reaction was "Oh no you did not just call us that!" Which of course I voiced, to the purple-teethed-tottering-asshole, then his cute friend came over to smooth things over because I was obviously enraged. Then the asshole tries to tell me it's a term of endearment! I politely gave him a lesson on terms of endearment one uses with A) people you just met B) women you're hoping to impress and C) anybody you hope to converse with at any point in the future beyond the present moment where you're digging yourself a very big hole!

We of course left, but I hope I made an impression that no matter how drunk you are, if you're hoping to approach a woman in the bar, any term of endearment using the words; bitch, ass or ho is not appropriate.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Adventures in Facebook....part 3 I think

So I did something totally silly and very unlike me last Friday. I saw a familiar face from years ago, make that twenty years ago and I decided to send him a little email on Facebook. Before I get into the present story, I'll give you a little back story.

In my small hometown of Brigham City, there are only two grocery stores, and for as long as I can remember it's always been that way. When I was in my early teen years, I developed a brutal crush on one of the cashiers/baggers at one of the stores who was four years my senior. Without ever saying a word, my mother knew and would make me go to the store, always picking the one my crush worked at, which was further away and more expensive, just so she could see me squirm. You know how mothers are! Being a small town I knew who he was and even after a two year absence (his not mine) I still had a crush at 17, but I figured the four year age difference back then would certainly have negated any mutual crushing! I saw glimpses of him for the next couple of years, then lost all contact. Then all of a sudden who pops up on Facebook? Yep, that's right, which is where our story begins.

So Friday I decided to send the guy a Facebook msg, just saying, "Hey, you probably don't remember me, but 20 years ago I had a major crush on you and well I just thought you might get a laugh out of that." How was I supposed to know he would respond with the following. "Oh yeah, I totally remember you and the crush was mutual!" (paraphrasing) Then we corresponded with different memories of each other throughout the years and lamenting why neither of us had ever asked the other out. When I got home from my SLC trip on Sunday I was catching up with e-mails when he buzzed me on Facebook and we spent the next hour reminiscing and being silly. Now my problem is I can't get him out of my head, old crushes die hard you know. Oh yeah and he lives on the other side of the country, oh and did I mention he's married with kids! Big No-No!

Needless to say I'm all a twitter and crushing again and I am going to channel that twitter-y-ness (word? didn't think so) to the big party for my friend jen-9 this weekend and I'm going to find a crush closer to home...oh yeah and NOT-MARRIED!

Monday, November 10, 2008

PIMP Mommy!

In an effort to be more visual, I am going to make a late-year resolution and promise to post more pictures. Let's start with this:

Would anybody in the Great Salt Lake area care for an introduction to this guy?

Besides being one of my favorite people in the whole world and a BFF, he can cook, he is very kind and he knows how to have a good time. Did I mention he can cook!

On my recent trip home to SLC, I stayed at Tommy's amazing house, where he treated me like a queen, cooked for me; some amazing meals I might add, especially the one we had on Wednesday when the power kept going out, coming back on, then going right back out again.

There are a lot of people I miss being away from SLC, and Tommy is one of the people at the top of the list. He's promised to come visit me in a few weeks and I'm hoping this post will guilt trip him into actually making the trip here. It's the Kris Kringle Pub Crawl, which is not unlike the Santa Pub Crawls my friends and I have attended over the years and it sure would be nice to have an old friend to mix with the new ones, plus he has a kick ass elf costume I made for him!

Friday, November 7, 2008


I just wanted to post a picture of four particularly deadly women from SLC!

Given the chance these women will most decidedly kill you!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Deep Breath!

There are not many words powerful enough to express how much I feel today. I am proud, excited, hopeful, ecstatic, jittery, nervous, inspired, awed and generally I can barely contain myself!

Obama inspires me, I want to be a better person whenever I hear him or see him! Isn't this what leaders are supposed to do? Inspire us to do great things, live better lives and aspire to greater heights?

Well, he's done it for me, sign me up Mr. President!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Voting, Schmoting

OK, just kidding, I voted on the first day early voting was allowed in Illinois, so as far as I'm concerned this election needs to be OVER! I have enjoyed reading every one's blogs about voting and their Facebook status comments as well. Considering I knew I was going to be visiting a red state (one of the two reddest!) on election day, I made sure my little BLUE heart voted for my BLUE man in one of the BLUEst states in the USA!

So, I'm not going to blog about voting today. No sir, ladies and gentlemen, I give you this, proof positive that the world is quite possibly coming to a horrible and gaudy end!

Enjoy and I'll say "you're welcome" in advance of the laughter and head shaking I know will be occurring once you read what I have bestowed upon you.


Monday, November 3, 2008


I think I've said this before that coming home to UT is weird, strange, stressful, etc. I will now add difficult and heart breaking to the growing list. Things are changing so rapidly in my friends' lives and my role in their lives is not the same as it was, yet I struggle so much with removing myself from that old role that it stresses me out and I have only myself to blame. It is difficult for me to make the decision to remove myself from their lives because for some I feel like I am abandoning them and others I think are better off for me being out of their day-to-day lives. I realize they live their own lives and certainly don't need me to make any decisions for them, but I've always been a sounding board for them. Do I now pick and choose who I still remain a shoulder to cry on or confidant or do I sever all close ties and risk abandoning those who still need/want me there? Can I become the long distance friend, am I really capable? I admit I am ultimately selfish and I truly want to be there with them and for them, but I don't want to give up my role in their lives, which is quite frankly very selfish of me. The big question is do they need me/want me anymore?

This weekend brought a lot of laughter, great reminiscing, wonderful reunions and a little drama...all of which was highly amusing. Old exes reared their ugly heads and tried to create drama, (which became a running joke throughout the evening, note: seek professional help!) old friends proved they are their lovely entertaining selves, good friends were there physically and emotionally when you needed them most and new friends never ceased to amaze and delight me.
My friends I love you so much and I will be here when you need me, but from now on, only when you need me.