Ummm

FUCK! Let me start by saying I had typed this awesome post about how:

{It's Wednesday, Kel has the case of the fuck-its, Summer & Sarah went to a concert without me last night (yeah I know I live in Chicago, but that's not the point), I have no idea how I'm supposed to pack everything I need for my trip to SLC without getting dinged $80 for overweight luggage, I broke the zipper on my favorite pair of black boots this morning and these are the essential black boots I wear with everything in the winter and when I dropped them off at the shoe repair the lady said they wouldn't be ready until Friday and I leave on Friday which means I won't have the essential black boots in SLC and lastly I never found a Random Hot Guy for the Halloween Extravaganza in SLC.

Does anybody think Sarah would mind loaning me Rlo? Maybe Helmey can bring one of his single friends if he has any.}

And then my computer decided to have a case of the fuck-its and crashed! I've decided I need this day to be over, because apparently my computer thinks I'm already on vacation and the two applications I need to use are fighting both each other and me. This has taken all of the wit right out of me.

Sincerely,

Apparently on Vacation!

Lesson Learned

Hey Internet, did you know it is practically impossible to write a post while your head is resting on the keyboard. Go ahead, try it! Sure you can type but when you finally find the strength to pick your head up, stop the world spinning and try to focus through blood-shot eyes at what you've "written" you'll know exactly what I mean.

I tried, a little too hard, to extend my weekend by participating in Sunday Funday. Now I say "participating" (I love using McCain air quotes, it makes me closer my friends) and I act like none of it was my idea thereby placing the blame on others, but you see, it was partly my idea.

After Saturday night's various antics, by the time I rallied on Sunday morning, OK early afternoon, OK late afternoon, the girls and I decided not to go to the haunted house. I will absolutely admit to being a major pussy when it comes to haunted houses, I am jumpy by nature and I hate being startled so I was very happy when the girls suggested, and I agreed, to bag that idea. We decided to do Sunday Funday at McGee's to grab something to eat, drink and be merry...we were very merry! Then we carried it over to Stanley's for more fun and more merriment. Unless you've seen Stanley's for yourself there is no way to accurately describe it, but it's always packed on Sundays for live band karaoke. So after imbibing more "merriment" and ogling the baby daddy - damn he's cute - I decided it was finally time to head home since it was technically Monday and I really hate Mondays. MG decided to share a cab with me and on our way out the door there was a small crowd gathered at the front and I realize that one of the guys is Chris Kirkpatrick from *Nsync - short little fella - so I snapped a photo with him and MG. By the time I made it home and stopped the room from spinning I'm pretty sure it was at least 1am.

So here I am now, it's early in the morning, I'm trying to write this post, my stomach is queasy and I have yet to get ready for work. The alarm and the cat conspired together to get my ass out of bed, so I'm sitting on the couch, it's still dark outside, the cat is curled up next to me and I'm trying not to puke my guts out all over my laptop! I will make it to work on time, I will be very glad when I get to leave work early and I will be very happy to get my hair done this afternoon and believe me I will be super happy when I can just go home, lay down and die!

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

Have any of you seen this?

Seriously, I can't imagine being mad enough at anybody in real life to kill them, let alone in a virtual world. I have previously read stories about people carrying on alternate lives in the virtual world; affairs, prostitution, drug-running and various other illicit activities.

For some reason this story just made me feel so sad for humanity! If people are living their lives in virtual reality at the risk of incarceration and monetary fines in the real world, how great can the virtual world really be? I understand the feeling of being somebody else and the role playing that comes along with "Second Life" and the virtual world, but sacrificing your "real world" to play in the other world is just a sad commentary on the world today.

I've said my peace, thank you very much!

Job Creation

I would love the ability to give away my cold. This is nothing new of course, I know everybody who has ever had a cold has thought the same thing. Get rid of the sinus pressure, the sore throat, the constant back and forth between stuff and runny nose and the, OMG I think I just coughed up a lung cough. Why not give it away to somebody who would love to spend a few days in bed and eat chicken soup?

Instead of spending billions of dollars on cold remedies, we should fund research on how to "transfer" our common colds to hypochondriacs! Seriously,it would cut down the amount of loss productivity and I think you would spawn a whole new industry of professional "sickies". Hypochondriacs think they're sick all the time anyway, why not have a verifiable illness and get paid for it. They could set rates and charge by the day. How much would you pay to give your cold away?

Right now, I'd give half my savings account to make this sinus pressure leave for good.

Little Black Box

Friday - home sick, did none of you read my chemically induced blog?

Saturday - Umm, home sick again, except for the short foray to MG's building to check on douche -baggy temporary roommate....UGH, just the thought of him gives me the creeps!

Sunday - Brunch with MyraG - who will henceforth be known as "The Professor". We all met up at a friends house for brunch, which consisted of tons of food, Bloody Marys and Mimosas! Interestingly enough, on my way to brunch, I learned a funny thing about Illinois, you cannot buy liquor at a liquor store on Sunday before 11AM. Now coming from Utah, this is not all that new, but what's funny about it is you can order it at a bar/restaurant before 11AM, but not at a liquor store. Is it just me or is that weird to any of you? Anyway, we had tons of food, good drink and absolutely amazing conversation! Besides the Prof, there was Natalie, Scott, Mark, Alan and Sarah (hopefully I just remembered that right). We talked about all the taboos - Sex, Religion and Politics, my three favorite subjects! Which brings me to my subject.

A few years ago my friend KW (Should I use Sadie? Up to you KW, you just let me know, since I know you read this.) mentioned having a box that contained things from her life/past. Should anything ever happen to her, she had a friend who was designated to come and "take care" of that box. I loved this idea! Since that discussion, I have since compiled all the things in my life that I can't bear to throw away, yet I would hate for either my mother or sister to deal with should I pass on without a significant other. It contains, some pictures, some letters and some "others". I love having this box, it's fun to go through sometimes, and if there was somebody significant in my life, my box would not necessarily be off-limits to that person, but it would definitely need explaining. The funny thing about this box, is not what's in it, but the memories I get from seeing the items in it. The explanations would never mean the same thing to someone who wasn't there to share in the original moment. Everytime I think about what is in this box, it reminds me of the saying "Never judge a person 'til you've walked a mile in their shoes."

Strange but true!

Highly Medicated

I have decided that red wine does indeed go very well with cold-medicine!  

I will hopefully refrain from doing the following acts while high on the afore mentioned substances:

Stripping naked and running through the streets of  Boystown in Chicago, because  a) it's fucking cold outside and b) it's "boystown" nobody would care and it's almost a guarantee I won't get any offers, so why bother.

Calling/Texting old lovers - I think I already mentioned they are dead and stashed in my closet, hiding the batteries from my biological clock... so no worries there.

Blogging, using such silly words as "va-jay-jay" "abso-fucking-lutely" and "joe-the-plumber" oops, wait a minute I just did!  Sorry!

Cranking the stereo and playing Katy Perry so loud it prompts my neighbor to call the authorities, who inevitably will find that I am high, will somehow assume it's illegal contraband, arrest me and thereby assure me a trip to the police station where I will then be required to  a) strip naked and submit to a cavity search (OUCH!) and b) take a really horrendous mug shot, which will end up on Perez Hilton...oh wait I'm not a celebrity so no worries there.

OK, Internet, this is my promise to you.  I will stay in my apartment, watch Made of Honor and behave myself!  If you catch me doing any of the above, except for the blogging thing cause I fucked up there already, you have my permission to call the authorities.  which will then of course ultimately make me do the last one and then we have a vicious circle!

Facebook Freak-Out

I may have to take a break from the "Face". It's beginning to freak me out that people from my past are now showing up with alarming frequency and that little e-mail from Facebook that starts - "So-and-So has added you as a friend" is starting to make me wince.

I still love it, the "Face" that is, don't get me wrong, it's just that some folks from my past that I hardly knew are adding me as friends. It's mostly the high-school thing that's giving me fits. I start to think, if I were still in high-school, and I was the person now that I was then, and they were the people now, they were then, we'd never be "Facebook Friends". I realize we're all grown up and we're adults and all that, but that itty-bitty, tiny little piece of insecurity, still hanging on by her finger tips, is having a MAJOR FUCKING FREAK-OUT! Think of it this way, they're looking through my photos and reading my "wall" and my "info" and maybe even my blog! The people I knew in high-school, that I considered friends, this of course doesn't bother me in the slightest, in fact I have given them the link to this blog. It's the "others", you know the cool kids who wouldn't let you play with them (disclaimer - I was totally not a cool kid, I was a jock).

Recently one of my friends from high-school said these exact words to me "Wow, you've changed a lot since high-school." I had two thoughts - DUH! and You bet your sweet ass I've changed, because I couldn't have made it through life as the person I was then. And so far I have been joyfully surprised by some of the people from my past and I smile whenever they pop-up, especially when they send you drinks on Facebook. But I still wonder what they think when they see the pictures and perhaps read my stories. Some have actually commented on photos and I get a little weirded out. It's the hazard of living part of your life in the cyber world, open to the public and all that.

I will get over it, I will...I just may need to find a Chemist who could create some Facebook Prozac, that little blue pill that won't make me cringe just a little when another person from my past pops up.