Friday, May 16, 2008

Baggage Detectors

In the past 24 hours I have had the same conversation with two different men in two different states; the conversation being how women are crazy. Now being a woman myself, and having many women friends I can attest that in my experience ALL women are at least a little bit crazy. Some have high percentages like eighty-five and ninety percent, but others are low around ten or fifteen percent crazy. I would classify myself on the low end around seventeen percent crazy, and most people I know would consider me pretty level-headed and even tempered, thereby solidifying my assertion that I am on the low end of the scale.

We’ll start with last night’s conversation with Pete. Pete manages a bar on the Northside and is an attractive guy, young thirties, great body and a very easy going personality. We were having drinks on the patio of the bar he manages, and in between checking on other patrons; Pete would stop by my table for chats. I confess to have had a little bit of a crush when I first met Pete, but the crush has turned into a genuine friendship, which given the nature of the conversation at hand, is a very good thing.

So, Pete tells me he has been getting texts and voice messages from a couple of ex girlfriends, nothing new there. Then he tells me about these girls and by his description I would call these girls absolutely one-hundred percent, certifiably crazy! There was stalking behavior, childish antics, public rants, a hit and run, a slap fight with another woman and a host of emotional baggage she's carrying around. And then Pete does the unthinkable, he said he’s attracted to this behavior. He wouldn’t even consider a drama free relationship. Relationships for him, need high drama and jealousy to have meaning! Are you kidding me!?!

Then this morning I talk to my friend Foxy in SLC, early forties, great body and also good-looking. Considering all the drama this boy has gone through, mostly self created, I know he attracts crazy women, the latest one being his wife who I believe is no longer his wife (will def. have to get the scoop on this). Believe me there was lots of drama there. So, he tells me he has no developed a baggage detector and I say good for him! Having this new found ability will absolutely help you in the future with weeding out the drama chicks.

In my opinion, there are two paths here, the first one being, if you’re going to date crazy at least own up to it. Otherwise your friends think you’re idiot and might need to seek psychiatric help; honesty is the best policy in this situation. The other path is finding and installing a baggage detector, I’m sure after market specials are out there somewhere. However, I’m hoping one day, baggage detectors come standard with a penis.

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