This morning I got a message on Facebook from a guy that I had the hugest crush on when I was 19. He was 23 and he had great hair, a killer smile, beautiful laugh, warm heart and happened to be dating Miss America, well not exactly Miss America, but she was runner-up (or top 10, can’t remember which now) to Miss Utah, which in my home state means you’re beautiful and can sing. My one biggest regret with him is that I never got to kiss him! I was just way too shy to make a move. Nowadays my mid-thirties self will look back on my teenage and early-twenties self and shake her head all the time, I was shy, insecure and so very naïve. Hell, I don’t even know what his feelings were toward me, even though we never went on a “date”, we did spend some time together and he turned me on to one of my favorite bands Live, and now is the time I wish I would have just asked how he felt or, horror of horrors actually asked him out. Fear of rejection at the time I suppose is my only answer. Now I say, “Screw rejection!” Hell I’ve dealt with rejection; I would just like to get rid of the unknown! The unknown vexes me greatly.
The guy is now married to Miss America and they have three children, no big surprise there, in fact nothing really surprised me about his current life. He has taken the path that was always laid out there for him; at least it seems to me, but I could be wrong. My only wish is that he's happy, because he is one of the people I wish happiness in life.
I however have veered off the path of what I thought my life would end up like when I was young and I am ecstatic about it. I wouldn’t trade my life for anybody else’s because I’ve made it something I enjoy! In a very strange way, Facebook has given me a glimpse of what my life may have turned out like, had I not learned new things and tested my old, comfortable environment. I faced the unknown, I embraced the new and personally, I am better for having done it.
Viva lá Facebook!
Viva lá Facebook!