Thursday, September 25, 2008

The New Sexuality - Asexuality

I have decided that my vagina is broken or at least temporarily out of order!

The effort one must put into getting "some" is just too much for me. Waxing, shaving, working-out, cleaning the house (visitors), small-talk, primping, lingerie, etiquette and all those little things just add up to too much time and effort wasted on one person when I could just simply take care of it all by myself, is daunting to say the least.

Asexuality is a much better option for me at this point. I got to thinking why I was just not into "J", please don't ask me why I've wasted a lot of mental energy on this, I just have. He's attractive, seems to be smart and could possibly be a good friend, I'm just not into him, yet he is apparently into me. Except for the Demolition Man, who stood me up, I have spent nine months in Chicago and I have not met one other guy who interests me. At ALL! I think I have lost my sex-drive completely! This was a tragedy when I first thought about it, but now I think I may have unlocked a creative energy that I haven't had in quite awhile. I could totally be noble here and devote my new creative energy to say helping the sick, homeless, indigent, down-trodden and countless others, but I can't think of where I should devote my time.

Any ideas?


kel said...

No ideas for you, but I'm so glad you mentioned waxing. It reminded me to call the salon and schedule an emergency appointment for this evening. Thanks.

Karen said...

Have you met my friend Silver Bullet?

He's awesome. I'd totally marry him if I didn't already have a fiance.

Laura said...

You don't even want to know how long it's been for me. I bet you could think of a number and then triple that and then add to it.

Anyway, dating sucks. The whole idea of it is kind of lame if you really look at it. And it's suprising how stress-free your life can become without that whole "pick me, like me" and "are you the one" rigamarole.

Okay, so I'm a little cynical. pfft.

Helmey said...

back up...what do you mean by "cleaning the house"?

quick thought...I wouldnt borrow Karen's silver bullet...we all know where its been

Helm again said...

Kel is your back that bad already?

Fiesty Charlie said...

No comment... just no comment!

Laughing out loud... but no comment!

Summer said...

You are so funny! I agree all the shaving and primping and laughing and smelling good and the rules! Oh God the dating rules! It's too much! Who has time for that? dolphin died so sometimes it's good to keep a man on back up. ;)

@manda said...

Woman - use the money you saved from not getting a new fall wardrobe and find a TOY SHOP!
And I totally agree.
I'm off the sex.
I refuse to primp and buy lingerie anymore.

Sarah Bellum said...

This post was so confusing. I thought you were talking about MY vagina, not yours. Maybe our vaginas should go out for drinks and talk about their lack of affection. That's not lesbian right? Vaginas need vodka too.

Salt City Mistress said...

@Kel - you're welcome!
@Karen - Yes, and I love him!
@Laure - we could totally compare notes!
@Helmey - you have a good woman in Brandy, which means you don't get to join in this conversation ;)
@CJ - be sure to take deep breaths in between big laughs, otherwise you might pass out from lack of oxygen ;)
@Summer - I'm not even wanting one on backup, that's how asexual I have become.
@Amanda - thanks if I didn't already know we were related, that just confirmed it!
@Sarah - as long as mine gets some good Bourbon, yours can have all the vodka it wants ;)

Latent Image said...

I was going to comment but upon seeing this is a discusion for women, I'll keep twiddling my thumbs