Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Texting: AKA - The Death of the "Real" Relationship

There could be an entire documentary film about how text messages have killed the idea of a "real" relationship. My friend JV once posted a link on my Facebook to a funny cartoon about two phones getting drunk and having a text hook-up relationship, with no actual conversation. It basically went as follows: two phones meet up in a bar while drinking/drunk, exchange numbers and continue to text over the space of a week, then they both get drunk again, hook-up, have freaky phone sex (actually quite funny), then break-up via text. I realize this is just an animated version of what happens most weekends across the country. My friend AmyT also met a guy, they exchanged numbers, and he would only have text conversations with her. For instance, he would send her a text, and she would try and call him. He wouldn't answer his phone, but would then text her back. Now I realize there are times when one cannot have an actual conversation due to time and place and therefore uses text to communicate, but she didn't feel this was the case with this guy. She stopped responding to his texts and he stopped texting.

Last week before I left for Utah and Burning Man I received the following text:

FWB? Come meet me near Wrigley, I'm nervous but not shy.

This text came from a guy on my volleyball team, who I am absolutely 100% NOT interested in, would never consider for a romantic relationship and is most definitely not a candidate for a FWB situation. I started to think where I may have gone wrong in my friendship with him to make him think that I would even be open to such a situation as friends with benefits. I personally don't think I put out the FWB vibe, I have never suggested any such openness to such an arrangement and hadn't spoken to him in over a week when I received this text. Which got me to thinking...


Is this where relationships have gone? Seriously, have people stopped communicating the old fashioned way? This text really peeved me, and apparently it's still peeving me!

10 comments:

Fiesty Charlie said...

Not only has the use of text messages, instant messages, and email killed actual conversations, the use of them has destroyed the English language.

I am old enough to remember a time when you needed to call someone, make an appointment and go by their office to discuss a matter. Now, we send an email without ever seeing the face of the other person.

I am waiting to see what the world will bring to the steps of Abbie. Will they eventually develop a microchip that is implanted in the brain to communicate with others? Interesting concept, since Bluetooth has come about.

Good post. As for the guy, be firm, be clear and direct. Always the best policy.

littlemansmom said...

I think maybe that people feel 'safer' behind the text. No emotion..limited rejection..salvage the ego. Personally, I'm old school. I like the phone, prefer face to face interaction and yep...I still handwrite actual letters....it's just so much more....personal.

Bayjb said...

I agree that IM and text messages are kind of impersonal. I use them but if I really need to talk to someone, I'm calling them. I've just had enough bad IM/text interpretations to rely on that.

@manda said...

IT'S SICK IS WHAT IT IS!
...And I just 'broke up' with a guy I was dating over text lol... but mostly because I REALLY didnt want to talk to him.
It's taking everything I've got not to ANGRY BLOG about him.

Summer said...

This is so funny, sad, and TRUE! I'm guilty of the text break up I have to admit. But come on! Who texts something like that? Seriously, who needs friends like that? That is messed up. Sorry honey!
Oh, have you heard that they are actually coming out with medical terms for people who think their virtual world is real? People actually can't differentiate between what is real and what is not.

Princess Pointful said...

That is the most absurd thing I've ever heard in my life-- who would ever think that is an appropriate thing to broach over a text?
I didn't even know what FWB stood for until now... that would have been awkward if I was the recipient!

Laura said...

Ew.

Nilsa S. said...

OK, I'm sorry for laughing at your sorrows, but he actually text messaged you FWB? That's hilarious. Seriously in the most pathetic of ways. I'm old school and expect a phone call (though I'm an email addict and have been known to be on IM and text message). However, kids these days? All they do is text. Maybe your guy is trying to be hip, young and cool, though it's most unbecoming.

kel said...

Some of my friends and I have entire 2 hour conversations with without hearing each other's voices! And it gets annoying, but it seems like so much less work than actually calling someome.

Karen said...

I dated a guy who was very into the whole texting relationship. It ended quickly partly because of the lack of real communication.

But mostly because he had a very small penis.