Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Comments Please

Ok, this is the note I have come up with. Any suggestions?

Dear Neighbor in Apt #456;

Though we have never met before, I have been witness (audible) to your musical selections and on numerous occasions to your very loud movie selections. It is also true that on the rare quiet moments late at night and early in the morning I have even faintly heard your snoring. However, recently the noise level emanating from the bedroom area of your apartment has become, shall we say, more boisterous. To put it bluntly, your girlfriend’s coital screaming has reached a climax (pun absolutely intended). Monday morning’s 5:30 AM wake-up call is what has prompted this note. Although this last weekend’s numerous sessions could also figure in as well. The bed banging up against the wall promptly brought me out of a sound sleep along with the screaming.

My only request with this note is to ask you kindly to consider others in your sexual escapades, not that you should invite others, that of course is completely up to your and your partner. Please be aware that your neighbors around you can hear what’s going on in your apartment and more to the point of this letter, your bedroom when it reaches a certain volume.

We respect your privacy and hopefully you respect ours, but when it interferes in such an audible manner I feel it is time to say something.


Your Neighbors


That one girl, Kiesha said...

I'm a bit of a bitch and if that note was left for me I would make sure my moans could be heard outside the apartment building from then on.

Hopefully this won't have the same effect on them!

Nilsa S. said...

I think it's worth a shot. But, my two cents is if a guy living in your apartment was annoyed, he'd go downstairs, knock on the door, have a few friendly words with your neighbor and all would hopefully be right in the world. I think guys are more forward like that. And my thoughts are maybe your neighbor would better digest your words should you introduce yourself and humanize the whole connection. Either way, he definitely deserves to hear what you have to say.

Karen said...

hahahaha....this would make any guy proud, my dear. I can see him puffing up his chest in pride already.

Laura said...

I totally want you to send the letter but I can see it blowing up and causing more issues.
Maybe a simple knock on the door and say, "Hey, could you keep you music down and when your girlfriend is over could you put a pillow over her face"?

P.S. - found you on Sarah Nielson's blog. :)

Doni said...

@Laura, thanks for coming over, love Sarah!

@Keisha, are you sure you didn't dump Ben, move to Chicago and start dating my neighbor?

@Nilsa, good point, but I'm not a guy and I abhor confrontation, seriously!

@Karen, I'm sure you're right and I'd love to be a fly on the wall when he reads it.

@manda said...

My GOD woman you've got balls! That is so awesome. Very well put, not too mean, but to the point.
Did you give it to him yet?